When women tell me after their photo shoot what was the hardest part, they rarely say: ‘posing’. Or: ‘the camera’. Most of the time they say: ‘the hours leading up to it’.
That evening when your outfits are lying on the bed and you find yourself wondering whether you’re really going to do this. That night when you sleep worse than usual. That morning when the coffee just doesn’t taste quite right. And that journey when you briefly consider just turning the car round.
If this sounds familiar: it’s perfectly normal. A racing heart before a boudoir shoot isn’t a sign that you can’t do it. It’s a sign that something matters to you.
Here, I’ll tell you how to make the most of these sessions – and what happens during them at my studio.
The evening before: pack, put things away, let go
Lay out your outfits the night before, ideally on hangers inside a garment bag. That way, nothing will get creased, and you won’t have to spend time searching for them in the morning. Pack the little bits and pieces too: jewellery, tights, and your favourite lipstick for touch-ups. We’ll decide together what you actually end up wearing anyway – better to have one extra item than one too few.
And then: leave it at that. The evening before the shoot isn’t the right time to experiment. No new face masks, no self-tanning products, no new exfoliators. You want your skin to feel just as it always does tomorrow.
Drink plenty of water, eat something light and give the wine a miss tonight. Go to bed early, even if you might not fall asleep straight away. It doesn’t matter. Even if you have a restless night, you won’t look tired tomorrow – the lighting, make-up and the excitement will take care of that all by themselves.
Here’s a little tip I’d like to share: before you go to sleep, jot down in two or three sentences why you’re doing this photoshoot. For yourself, for your self-image, to mark a milestone, or for someone you love. Take that piece of paper with you tomorrow. You probably won’t need it. But it’s nice to have it with you.
The morning: slow rather than perfect
Allow plenty of time for the morning. Nothing makes you more nervous than being pressed for time.
Have a light breakfast – you’ll feel more restless on an empty stomach, and too full will make you feel sluggish. Take your time having a shower and apply some moisturiser. If you’ve booked make-up and hair styling with me, please come without make-up and with freshly washed, dry, unstyled hair. If you’re doing your own make-up, allow yourself more time than you would on a normal day.
Wear loose, comfortable clothing for the journey – ideally without a bra, without tight cuffs and with loose-fitting socks. That way, you won’t get any marks on your skin and you won’t feel constricted.
And perhaps most importantly: put your mobile away. Don’t scroll through Instagram today and don’t compare yourself to photos of women you don’t know. You won’t be photographed as someone else today. You’ll be photographed just as you are. That’s exactly the point.
The journey: the journey begins the moment you set off
Lots of women are visiting Laberweinting for the first time – I’ve summarised the best way to get here in my article on how to find us. The last few kilometres take you through fields and small villages, and I often hear that it’s precisely this stretch of the journey that helps you wind down. Put on some music that makes you feel good. It’s best to set off a quarter of an hour earlier so you don’t have to keep checking the time whilst you’re on the road.
If having someone with you makes you feel safe, bring them along. A friend, your partner – they’re always welcome here. Some women like to send their companion for a walk once they’ve arrived. Others prefer to have them with them the whole time. Both are fine.
And if you suddenly find yourself thinking about turning back whilst you’re in the car: just let that thought linger for a moment. Almost every woman has had that thought. And almost every one of them tells me afterwards how glad she is that she carried on.
What I’m doing at the moment
Whilst you’re getting ready, I’ll prepare the studio for you. I’ll make sure it’s nice and warm, because you can’t relax if you’re cold. I’ll set up the lighting so we don’t have to spend ages setting it up once you’re here. Your dressing gown is laid out, water and tea are on the table, and soft music is playing.
I’ll go over once more what we discussed in our preliminary chat: your preferences, the parts of yourself you like best, the areas you’d rather not have in the picture, and your boundaries. You don’t need to explain any of this to me again today.
And to be honest, I do get a bit nervous before every shoot too. Not because I’m unsure of myself, but because I know this day is special for you. And because I want you to go home afterwards and think: I’m glad I plucked up the courage to do this.
The first few minutes in the studio
When you arrive, we won’t start taking photos straight away. First, we’ll have a cup of tea, a coffee or a glass of water. I’ll show you round the studio and the lockable room where you can get changed. We’ll have a look at your outfits together and decide what to start with.
We’ll also have a quick word about your boundaries – not because I’ve forgotten about them, but because you might feel differently about them today than you did during our preliminary discussion. What you wanted to show two weeks ago, you’re free to leave out today. And vice versa.
If you’ve booked a make-up and hair session, this is the moment when you can simply sit back and enjoy yourself. Many women say that it was precisely this time that helped them feel calm.
Then we’ll start with the most comfortable outfit and some very simple poses. I’ll explain each pose to you before we take the photo, and I’ll never touch you without asking first. After a few minutes, I’ll show you the first few photos on the screen. That’s usually the moment when the tension eases and ‘I hope this goes well’ turns into ‘Oh, that’s me’.
When you just can’t seem to shake off the nerves
Sometimes your heart keeps racing for a bit longer. That’s fine too. There are a few things that almost always help:
- Say it out loud. “I’m really nervous right now” is a phrase that instantly takes the pressure off. I hear it often, and I prefer it to a brave smile.
- Breathe out consciously. Breathe out slowly, for longer than you breathe in. It sounds simple, but it’s a sure-fire way to calm down.
- Start small. We can begin with portraits of people wearing jumpers and work our way up very gradually. There’s no timetable we have to stick to.
- Take a break. Put on your dressing gown, have a drink, take a quick look outside. Just a word from you is enough.
And if you realise that it just isn’t working out today, then we’ll stop. No discussion, and without me letting you feel it. I’ve described in detail what happens next in my article ‘What if it isn’t working out?’. In short: there’s always a good way to handle it, and none of them is embarrassing. That’s also stated in my code of conduct. And how far you go on that particular day is entirely up to you anyway.
Your little checklist for the night before
- Outfits on hangers inside a garment bag
- Jewellery, stockings, accessories
- Lipstick or lip gloss for touch-ups
- Hair tie and hairbrush
- comfortable clothes for the journey, without tight cuffs
- Water for when you’re out and about
- your note explaining ‘why’
You can find out everything else you need to know about outfits, make-up and styling in my article on preparation and in the guide I’ll send you once you’ve booked.
A racing heart is all part of it
The hours leading up to the shoot aren’t just a necessary evil that you have to get through somehow. They’re actually part of the experience. You’re taking time for yourself, preparing for something that belongs only to you, and taking a little risk. That’s exactly what makes the photos so special later on: in them, you don’t just see your body, but also the courage with which you walked into the studio that day.
If you’ve got any questions before you make up your mind, just drop me a line. Then we can have a coffee and have a proper chat about everything – without any nervousness.
I’m looking forward to seeing you.
Leif Sundelius
