There’s one question that crosses almost every woman’s mind before her first boudoir shoot: ‘What if I don’t pluck up the courage after all?’ Or, conversely: ‘What if I suddenly find I’m more confident than I thought?’
My answer is always the same: both are perfectly fine. Because how far you go is entirely up to you. Not me, not a set of guidelines, not a plan we came up with at some point. You. And that goes for every single stage – before, during and after.
Beforehand: We’ll talk about your boundaries before things get serious
For me, every photoshoot begins with a detailed preliminary discussion. During this, we don’t just talk about outfits and dates, but also about what matters to you:
- What would you like to show, and what would you definitely not want to show?
- Are there any parts of your body that you’d rather not have in the photo?
- How do you feel wearing lingerie, a large shirt or a sheet?
- Would you like someone to come along?
You don’t have to commit to anything. “I don’t know yet” is a perfectly good answer. The only important thing is that I know where your boundaries lie at the moment, so that I can respect them right from the start.
The levels – and why they are merely a guide
To ensure we’re all on the same page, I broadly distinguish between four categories: wearing lingerie or a shirt, partially nude, semi-nude and nude. I explain these in detail in the article ‘Nude or not nude?’.
However, these steps aren’t a staircase you have to climb. Many of my clients stick to lingerie and love their photos. Others discover during the shoot that they’re more confident than they thought. No step is ‘better’ than another. The most beautiful photos are taken where you feel at ease.
During the shoot: You can change your mind at any time
What we discussed in the preliminary meeting is a framework, not a contract. During the shoot, the following applies:
- You can always show less. Just one word is enough, and we’ll stick with whatever feels right – no arguments, no disappointment.
- You can show more if you like. But that’s always up to you. I never suggest showing ‘just a bit more’.
- I always tell you what each pose will be beforehand. You always know what’s coming next, and you can say no.
- You can take a break or stop at any time. That’s fine too, and there are no consequences for you.
- I won’t touch you. I’ll just demonstrate the poses or describe them. Only if you specifically ask me to will I help with a strand of hair or a strap – and I’ll always ask you first.
For me, ‘no’ always means ‘no’. There’s no need to explain why.
After that: You decide which pictures to keep
Even after the shoot, you’ve got the final say:
- It’s up to you. In your private online gallery, you can select the pictures you want. If you don’t like something, simply don’t select it.
- You decide who sees them. Your photos belong to you. They are password-protected, and I won’t share them with anyone.
- Nothing will be published without your consent. Not a single image will appear on my website, on social media or anywhere else without your explicit, written consent. And if you do give your consent, it will be on a picture-by-picture basis – with or without your face, whichever you prefer.
- You can change your mind. You can withdraw any consent you have given at any time with future effect.
Why this is so important to me
Boudoir photography thrives on trust. You can only let yourself go in front of the camera if you know you’re safe – and that nothing will happen that you don’t want to happen.
I’ve seen it happen time and again: as soon as a woman senses that she’s truly in control, something changes. Her shoulders relax, her smile becomes genuine, and her gaze softens. It is precisely this feeling that gives rise to the photographs in which she later recognises herself.
For me, it’s not a success when a customer shows ‘as much as possible’. For me, it’s a success when she goes home and says, ‘That was just right for me.’
Let’s talk about what you’d like
Not sure yet how far you want to go? Perfect – that’s exactly what the initial consultation is for. We’ll have a relaxed chat about everything that’s on your mind, and then you can decide for yourself, with absolutely no pressure.
We have every option:
