There’s a saying amongst photographers that’s older than any camera I work with today: ‘Never touch a model.’
It sounds matter-of-fact, almost technical. To me, it’s something else: a promise. Because during a boudoir shoot, you’re more open and vulnerable than you’re usually willing to be. You reveal yourself, perhaps for the first time, just as you are. That trust deserves a clear boundary, and I set it before you even have to ask.
What the rule means to me
It’s quite simple: I won’t touch you. Not to correct your posture. Not to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. Not ‘just for a moment’.
There’s only one exception: if you specifically ask for it. And even then, I’ll always ask you first, tell you exactly what I’m going to do, and wait for you to say yes. For me, no always means no – no excuses needed, and without it spoiling the mood.
So how do the poses come about?
That’s the question I’m asked most often. The answer: with words, by showing, and with a lot of patience.
- I’ll show you how it’s done. I’ll demonstrate every pose myself, even if I look a bit silly doing it. That almost always lightens the mood, by the way.
- I give precise instructions. “Push your left shoulder forward a little.” “Move your chin a finger’s width towards the window.” It works better than you’d think.
- I use mirror images. I stand opposite you and you simply copy what I do, as if in a mirror.
- I’ll show you the display. A glance at the picture often says more than any explanation. You’ll see straight away what’s changed and can correct it yourself.
Small things that still need to fit
A strap that’s twisted, a strand of hair in your face, a piece of fabric that doesn’t drape properly: little things like this happen all the time. Here’s how we deal with them:
- I’ll tell you what I’ve noticed, and you can sort it out yourself. I always have a small hand mirror to hand.
- Your companion will help if you’ve brought someone with you.
- My wife is there the whole time, if you’d like. She’ll be happy to help you with your clothes, hair or accessories, if you’d like.
- I’ll only do it myself if you specifically ask me to. After checking with you first, with a brief and respectful reminder.
Why this rule is so important to me
Because trust is everything in boudoir photography. The most beautiful pictures aren’t taken when everything is just right. They’re taken when you feel confident, when you laugh, take a deep breath and, for a moment, forget the camera is there.
That’s only possible if you know exactly where you stand at all times. If you don’t have to be on your guard. If it’s clear that you’re in charge here. This clarity isn’t a form of distance; it’s the foundation for genuine closeness in the image.
When a customer tells me afterwards that she’d forgotten the camera was there after a few minutes, that’s the greatest compliment I could receive. And it has a great deal to do with this one rule.
What else you can look forward to
‘Never touch a model’ is just one aspect of the way I work. It also includes:
- A detailed preliminary discussion, during which we’ll talk about your wishes and your boundaries before the camera comes into play.
- A lockable room for changing.
- You decide how much you want to show. From lingerie to nudes, anything goes – nothing is compulsory. And you can change your mind at any time.
- Confidentiality: Not a single photograph will be shown without your written consent.
You can read more about how I, as a man behind the camera, ensure a safe environment in my article ‘Boudoir with a man behind the camera’.
Let's have a chat
If you’re not sure whether a boudoir shoot is right for you, then let’s just have a chat. Over a coffee in the studio or on the phone – with no obligation whatsoever. You can ask anything you like, and you’re free to say no afterwards.
Real. Sensual. Unapologetically You.
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